It's time to get motivational!

Yo homies, Holla back! Thro ya hands up, and Get Low!!!!… (and all those other hip-hop colloquialisms that inspire a sense of reunion and excitement). Time to get so fresh and so clean and party like its 1998 (prince’s dumb ass missed it by 1 year). Most of us have been working hard and have the ass-sweat to prove it (again, please be fresh and clean at the time of the party). In fact, you may have even developed stress-induced acne, backne, chestne, buttne or inner thigh-ne. Perhaps you now have stress headaches, increased fatigue, or you may have even developed a very severe, sometimes debilitating condition called parentosis. For those of you who are unfamiliar with parentosis, it involves the development of growths, sometimes more than one, that start out in the female body. They eventually fall out, but then affect both males and females for approx 18yrs, requiring intermittent doctor’s visits, rides and nutrition. JK, I know how magical children can be, and I love each and every one of them JUST LEAVE YOUR CARES BEHIND FOOLS (but not your children)!!!! There is something magical about getting together with old friends, and something even more magical about learning what they’ve been up to. The plans have been made, but it is still up to us to make these events memorable. I am writing this for the folks who are still on the fence about it….

· “Well, I guess I’d go if I was closer, but it’s like a ___ hour drive”.
· “I’d go if I could be sure ________ wasn’t going to be there”.
· “I’m fat now, what if there is a bathing suit comp?”
· “What if no one else is fat?”
· “No one else has developed fat specifically in the areas I have”
· “But Pat, I didn’t really have that much fun in high-school, do you really want me to revisit that?”
· “I’m not married yet and have no boy/girlfriend, won’t I just sit around and gloat about that?”
· “What if there are laxatives in the drinks”

For those of you who have a long drive, suck it up souldja. If you’re worried about seeing people you don’t want to see, don’t worry, I’ve already asked Landon Smith and Daniel Ray to stay in the back and speak only when spoken to. Otherwise, I think that you’ll find most of our class has grown up mentally, spiritually, and likely waist-wise. If you’re still single, play it off like you meant to be, and that you barely have time to get through all of the personals e-mails in your in-box. Maybe someone will fall for it J Hey, I’m still single, and umma do me. If you still can’t find a good reason to motivate, then say you’re going to “network”. That’s a popular buzzword these days, it’ll sound good at least. There will be no laxatives in the drinks… unless B. White decides to make the trek from Las Vegas, in which case, hold on to your butts ladies and stay away from the tea.

Finally, if you really, really, really don’t want to go, then you probably have something to gain by challenging yourself. DO IT! I promise I’ll be there waiting with open arms (we can have them play chariots of fire as we stride towards one another in slo-mo). So that about sums it, you’re coming. Can’t wait to see those that I still know, and get to know those I don’t. No judgements, no pettiness, no gossip, no fear, just good times. One love…

PS: if funds are TRULY tight for you, please contact me about a possible contingency plan.
patrickzeemer@yahoo.com